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I see a lot of red flags. I think YOUR adoption plan should be about you and your baby, not about them, what they want to call the baby or about what is, or is not something they want to do. This is YOUR adoption plan, not theirs...if the two can't meet, then it's not a good match.
I just can't get over that they refer to your stomach by their baby name. They don't have a Baby...you do. If they want to be part of your adoption plan, they should have followed it.
There are good reasons why many states don't allow private adoption without a home study. That is asking such a minimal thing in my opinion.
You should continue to follow what ever YOUR adoption plan is. If they aren't doing that, then they are out.
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Our journey... http://callahancrew.blogspot.com/
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~Dr. Seuss
10-11/07 - We complete home study visits, requirements, and paperwork!
12/17/07 - Our home study is approved by the agency director.
01/27/08 - We get a  for a baby boy who is less than 24 hours old! We submit and get the call 1 hour later that we should get on a  !
01/28/08 - Tyler is in our arms! He is less that 48 hours old 
01/31/08 - We go to Court, consents are signed and he's OURS!
02/07/08 - Back home in MA with Ty!
04/03/08 - 1st post placement visit.
05/25/08 - 2nd post placement visit.
07/24/08 - Final Visit post placement visit.
11/15/08 - FINALIZE in St. Louis on National Adoption Day!
 
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