[Juliana13]

Sure, doing another homestudy is inconvenient, but so what? This is YOUR baby, YOUR pregnancy and YOUR decision. Them calling and offering advice is totally inappropriate. How would they like you to call with advice while they were parenting their newly adopted daughter? I doubt very many people would be okay with that.

This is your baby until you sign the papers. Until then, you need to be respected as this baby's mother. You decide what you are comfortable with as far as contact, communication, and agency to use. If they have trouble with respect and boundaries now, it might only get worse.

Of course you want them to be excited about adopting a baby. You'd be concerned about them if they weren't excited, getting ready, planning, and even had a name picked out. But to be as pushy as these people sound - I would be cautious.

I think you NEED to go with an agency, - or at least have your own case worker and/or counselor - if for nothing else than for your protection. To have a mediator, a third party who can help you look at what is going on and sort out what is inappropriate.

Even if you are 100% sure adoption is the right choice for you, you are this baby's birthmother. It is your responsibility, and your right, to give your child the best life you can, and do what is right for your baby. If that is not you, then you have the right (and again responsibility) to choose their family with care and thought. Of course you don't want to hurt anyone by changing your mind, but the feelings of the hopeful adoptive parents are NOT your priority. Your baby is. Do what is right for her, and you will have no regrets. Sadness, of course, but you will know you did your best, and what you felt was right.

If you feel this is not the right family for your child - then say so, and choose the right family. (If it's too hard, let the agency tell them for you, that's part of their job.) If you feel that this IS a good fit, and a good place for your child, then have a conversation (again, with the agency's help, if you want) about boundaries and what you are and are not comfortable with.

Sending hugs your way!