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Originally Posted by BarbieSmith
Just a quick note - when my hubby and started our adoption journey 4-5 years ago, we were completely *against* open adoption.
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When we started our adoption journey we were completely *for* open adoption.
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Originally Posted by BarbieSmith
1- in the adoption triad, *everyone* WINS with open adoption - especially the child!
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In my case *my family* did NOT win.
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Originally Posted by BarbieSmith
2- the birth mom (or birth parents) will never wonder what became of their child,
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In my case this is also not true.
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Originally Posted by BarbieSmith
3- it is NOT hard on the parents (the adoptive parents) to be a part of open adoption
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This statement is also not always true - certainly not in my case.
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Originally Posted by BarbieSmith
It truly is an (almost!) gauranteed WIN-WIN-WIN situation for all three parties of the adoption triad!
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I am glad to see that there are such wonderful open adoption experiences out there. This is what I had hoped and dreamed of in our adoption.
But when researching open adoption I hope that the other side of the coin will also be considered.
I had originally not responded to this thread, but it has come back up several times and while Barbie's is a dream come true - an open adoption can also turn
against the adoptive family.
In *my* case the birthmother and I signed an open adoption "Agreement." She then turned around and used this same "Agreement" to keep our adoption in jeapardy and to file continuous motions against us.
She does not visit. But 5 and 1/2 years later she is still holding motions against us and is still keeping us in legal turmoil. Again - she does not visit in spite of a court order to do so. But she has cost us tens of thousands of dollars and continuously threatens us with legal motions and a fraud charge.
Yes, my case *may* be an exception. Barbie's case may also be an exception. I don't know.
What I do know is that our open adoption experience
has been turned against us and
used against us and
has hurt my family and my son more than I have the words to express.
Open adoption can be a wonderful journey - but it can also be an unending nightmare.
Please, please consider all possibilities when deciding on open adoption.
I, too, will be glad to respond to any PM.