Lewey,
So right you are. Death is a possibility that I never expected.
Because of your kind words, I decided to take matters into my own hands. A couple of nights ago, I discovered that my bfather's oldest son lived in my very own home town. Rather than continue the agony, I contacted him via E-mail under the auspices of "genealogy research" saying that I was looking for a man that once worked with my mother. The next morning, he confirmed my suspicions, returning a pleasant E-mail saying that his father had passed away in 1999 after heart surgery at the age of 73.
A HUGE wave a guilt, anger, and despair washed over me. How can I feel so much loss for someone I don't even know?
Until 5 days ago - I didn't really believe this man ever existed. Now here I am, 5 days later, mourning for him.
That spurred me on to not wait another minute to contact his son, my 1/2 brother.
Check out this link
http://www.adoptionforums.com/showth...239#post201239
As of today - I have made contact, and am going to try to put some of the pieces together that have been missing for 32 years. While I can't say it is what I expected - it is the truth. And that is much more than I had last week!!
Thanks