[browneyes0707]

Honestly, I'm just not that caught up in titles. I use birthmother here, it's just the first thing I thought of, in this day and age it's what most people refer to me as. DD's a-mom calls my ex and I "DD's birthparents" and I'm OK with it. BUT this is because I (and I only speak for myself) know that a-mom has respect for me and my role. I know that she sees me as more than an "incubator". I know she sees me as someone who made a tough choice in love to not parent my child, she has acknowledged that numerous times. And I think that that is what it comes down to for ME how I may percieve my role and how she percieves my understanding of it. I could be very wrong, but I'm not a big "PC title" person to begin with.

It's no different IMO that certain racial groups asking to be referred to in a more PC light. They are not saying necessarily that they PERSONALLY have been treated negatively or that you SPECIFICALLY have treated them wrong, but that they are educating themselves as a group and want to work towards a better understanding and level of respect within society. Society as a whole does tend to paint birthmothers in a negative light, all she may be trying to do, as some others have said, is to adopt a title that may give her a better sense of self esteem. It may have nothing to do with you or how well she is feeling about the adoption itself. Even the most well adjusted feel negatively about themselves after placing a child, it's par for the course.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't take it personally. But if it bothers you, maybe open a dialogue about it and see exactly what the story is so you could can come to a mutal understanding.

Good luck!

PS: Interestingly enough, the only word I DO take issue with it "real". Real to me is disrespectful to DD's a-mom and her role in DD's life, she is no less real than me. I know DD has used the word, and I was kind of dismayed to learn she picked that up. But I understand in her case, she probably used it because she picked it up from someone who uses that terminology, and wasn't reading into the meaning.