[loveajax]

I personally hate the term "natural mother." If DD's birth mom referred to herself as that, then that is certainly her perogative, but as a parent, you are entitled to use whatever terms you want. I personally do not use the term "first" or "natural" mother (nor does my DD's birth mom). If you are not comfortable using the term "natural mother" with your child, I would tell your child's birth mom that and say you respect her immensely, etc. but that's your call. Frankly, I think it was rude of her to send an email like that without talking to you about it.

PS: I just wanted to add that the fact that your child's birth mom wishes to be referred to as his natural mother does not mean she is necessarily regretting her decision. And if she is, then you don't have any responsiblility for dealing with that except of course to be empathetic. I can't imagine that there are many birth moms that don't regret these decisions, because of course it is horribly difficult. I also wanted to say that I WOULD have an honest discussion with your son's birth mom about her feelings, etc. because you ARE in an open adoption relationship....and having these kinds of things happen without discussion is not healthy for you or your kid. I think maybe you could say that you do not view your child's birth mom as a "vessel" for merely giving birth to him or whatever, but say why you have chosen to use the terms that you do. At the end of the day, imo, it is all about respect all around.