[Roosmama]

Earlier this week I read a somewhat negative article on adoption that mentioned a trend toward changing the terminology away from "birth mothers" and instead using terms like first mother, natural mother, etc. Coincidentally, I received an e-mail today from DS's birth mother saying that she's been participating in various forums and chatrooms with other birth mothers and would now prefer to be called DS's "natural mother," although she would also settle for first mother, but no longer wants to be called his "birth mother." This bothers me, not because I want to bicker about the label but because most of the discussion surrounding the terminology puts adoption in such a negative light. I have to wonder if all of the forums and chatrooms in which she's participating are making her regret her decision. There's SO MUCH negative information out there - about how birth mothers have been coerced into bad decisions, how they should fight to reclaim their position in their children's lives, etc. I don't want our relationship to be adversarial, but I'm feeling on the defensive right now. I haven't replied to her yet, and probably won't for several days until I figure out how to respond correctly. I think it would be awful if she's involved with some groups that are making her feel badly about her decision. There's something personal here, too, b/c if she wants to be known as DS's "natural mother," doesn't that make me his "unnatural mother"? I know I'm overreacting a bit, but I really hate the whole politically correct mentality invading such a deeply personal arena as my relationship with my DS and his birth mother. We do have an open relationship - DS is two, and we've seen her about 4x/yr since he was born. But it's not open enough to have a really honest discussion with her about where this is coming from. Has anyone else had to deal with this? Am I being completely irrational?