[aclee]

LOL...they want us to say what will get us placed the fastest. We want a fast placement too. But the right placement. They say that since we want open adoption, we should say so. PERIOD. Maybe I am too stuck on the what ifs. I want to make an adoption agreement that we'll stick with. I have no idea if they are enforceable in my state, or the state we'll adopt in (wherever that maybe) or not. I don't really care. Bottom line is that **I** want an agreement that works. If I help create it and sign it, I want it to work. I know that's simplistic, but I think when you sign something you should do it. I just don't want to tell an expectant mother that we're open to visits and letters and pictures and do a full exchange of information etc while she is expecting, and then have the baby test positive for cocaine on delivery. We would still want that baby, and we would end up back peddling, and maybe fear that the birth mother would have too much of our information. I guess I just feel like it's easier to add than take away...IF IF IF, the mother is a drug user. If she's not then I have no problem being completely open right from the start. I'd love to talk on the phone with her and maybe meet her before the birth, all that. I'm just worried we'll do that, and then find out she's using drugs or lying about something. Is the paranoia obvious yet? I want to do this right, and have a great open adoption...I do believe they are really the best thing for a child. Does that mean I should turn away an infant whose mother is already not making the best choices for them? My head spins...if you guys understand this, tell me what you think