Thank you so much to everyone for your wonderful responses. She has always called me mom and my husband, dad...where I struggled was signing documents and not knowing how to identify myself. You had so many good ideas for nosey people without manners
Thanks! I love the idea of starting now with a made up bed time story about her coming to be with us. I have asked a couple people for book suggestions (age appropriate) to read to her at bedtime. Hopefully they will get back to me. If any of you have any suggestions, please let me know! As for her brother/ cousin... I will need to sit down with my SIL to make sure we are on the same page. Thank goodness my boys have always called her their sister, I think they are as bonded with her and her to them as if they were bio!
I am happy to report that we meet with our attorney in the morning to sign the papers to file for the adoption!! FINALLY! Thanks again. This board once again provides excellent support!