Hi Shouav,
I am an adult adoptee in reunion and I call my birth mother, mom.
I have two mothers. All adopted children do.
I believe it depends on how far along the adoptee has explored his or her own adoption and what it all means. We are different children and with that difference comes a need exploration of this reality, understanding and ultimately peace.
I have done a lot of work, reading, therapy and exploring of my reality. With that emotional work comes understanding.
For me I have two mothers. One parented me and the other gave me life. They are both my mothers and I love them both.
I am not sure how your son deals with being adopted. I can tell you the adoptive parents have a huge influence on how the child thinks about and deals with his or her birth parents. Maybe there are issues there for your son. Be patient with him. He is probably dealing with things you do not know about.
Kim
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Originally Posted by shouav
This discussion was amazing, and I thought I would just like to ask a question of the adoptees on the discussion. My son doesnt want me to call myself 'his first/birth mother', how does that sit with you guys. I was very very hurt, because even though I know that he has a 'mother', I have never considered myself anything else, and had searched for him for ten long years, after I was told that I could in fact search, always having believed that I was not allowed to search! It got to a point when I was being told I was obssessed, yes I guess I was, so I told myself to stop, and wait, I did, and yes he found me, we are a year into reunion, and that was his answer to my reunion 'hug', I know, he is hurt has been hurt by my having to relingish him, but he knows jolly well I was forced into it, I was a child when I had him, anyway want to ask you guys what you think! Thanks for listening shouav
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