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This is right... The Case workers pull profiles from the "list" which is more like a "pile"...based on what the afam answers about themselves, and what the bfam answered and asks for....then the bfam gets to pick....occasionally the bfam can't decide, so other profiles are pulled that initially may not have looked like the best match. The profiles are a 2 page birthparent letter and 2 pages of photos. There is also online profiles...I referenced my paper profile in my online one, and vice versa....then I included different or more info online as well as different pictures...so that the bparents could get MORE info about us than just the little paper profile had.
When a bmom takes home profiles, she is encouraged to read them and pray about them. When a bmom wants a fully closed adoption, the case worker reads the profiles and prays about them and then chooses for the bmom. However, there are less and less couples waiting to adopt who would ever consider a closed adoption. So that pile of profiles is relatively small. Even so, I have heard of "divine mistakes" where profiles were pulled and considered when they never should have been a match in the first place...and thats who ends up chosen. The answer can also be "none of these".....so what you put on your paperwork really has less to do with it if everyone involved is prayerful. Our dd's bmom really didn't even read what we wrote...all the hours and months of agony filling out the questionaires and picking the photos.....in the end, none of it mattered. She looked at the list of profiles online and read our first names and "just knew" we were to be A's parents.
My prayers were that the bparents would "know" we were the ones.
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