[Mil]

When my birthson called me for the first time (I knew he was going to call) he confirmed who he was talking to and then said 'hi, this is your son'. I was surprised he put it that way, lol, I did know his name by then. But he said he had always dreamed of saying that! There were a few awkward moments in the conversation, but have some questions written down or things you want to talk about in front of you so that you don't forget them in the emotion of the moment. It's a conversation that you'll always remember, just like your first meeting. My son and I both remember our different 'firsts' very well. Our first holiday together, his first birthday that we shared, the first time I met my grandsons, the first time he met his brother and sister, things like that. They're permanently etched in both of our memories. And those memories don't fade, lol.

I'm sorry your birthmother refused contact. I'm glad your birthfather seems open to contact - I hope all goes well for you! Take a deep breath and hop on the rollercoaster! It's quite a ride!