[kakuehl]

Jenna,
For most of the last 35 years, I have chosen carefully how to answer the question of the number of pregnancies/children I have had. Since my marriage and birth of my other two children I have often said, "My husband and I have two children." I have chosen when to add, "and I placed my firstborn for adoption when I was in college." As has been stated, it's not something I choose to say to everyone. Since D and I have been in reunion, I've been more upfront about him. There have been times that I just don't have the energy to deal with someone and I don't mention it. (I do understand that sick feeling, btw)

I had an interesting experience this spring; my husband and I were having dinner with friends. I was wearing my "adoption" necklace. The waitress commented on it and asked if I was adopted or had adopted a child. When I said I was a birthmother she backed away immediately and avoided me the rest of the evening.

I once had a professor who told me when I had to deal with the candidacy committee for seminary, that while I should be truthful, I didn't need to open my coat and say shoot me here. In some settings, to talk about our birth children is to open our coats and say "shoot me here."