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"due to physical defiencies on my part I cannot even get pregnant "
I look at my high risk pregnancy status as a blessing now. If it weren't for my feeling it wasn't safe to be pregnant, we wouldn't have our son. One day I pray you see the same blessings in your life as you look at your little baby girl.
"Think I am a bit bummed today.. So much working at waiting.."
It took us 2 years and an incredible fight to find our son. And looking back it was worth every tear and every struggle. You too will feel that someday (hopefully soon).
It is so very hard to be strong in this adoption wait. I know you hear a lot of families who have already adopted say that your child will come one day. But I remember that when you are waiting for your arms to fill with your baby child, that doesn't help much. And if you are like me there are times that you just feel it would preserve your sanity if you just give up. But at those times I think you just have to give yourself over to auto-pilot. Give it one last push and that always got me through. I always said, "this is it, after this we aren't going to try to adopt anymore..." ANd then by the time I got finished with that last chore that I set up for myself I was ready to wait again. Many people say God is at work in adoption (whoever God may be to you). I think that is true. I feel God led us to our son. I firmly belive that in our great plan in life it was always clear that he would be our son. One phone call, one message, one letter is all it can take. Just making one extra call, getting your name out to one more agency. And while the wait is horrible, I see now how it has helped me be a better parent. I am more patient with my children. I appreciate them more because I know the struggle to have adopted them.
I will pray that your child finds her way home soon.
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