[notadumbld]

My daughter is due the middle of March. SHe's 18 and knows she's not ready to be a mom. SHe and the father are still together but long term is iffy. Anyhow, she met a couple this past weekend who were exactly what she wanted for the baby - smart. educated, athletic, tall - much like herself. But the couple decided they didn't want to do a domestic adoption after all, preferring not to have any information about the bp, or the worry of contact later.

This was going to be a designated or identified adoption: my daughter would pick the ap, meet them once, and in the future she would have access to the follow-up information sent to the AA by the ap, and she could send letters to the child through the AA. There would be no direct contact unless the child, with his parents' blessing, initiated it.

Well, now we're starting over. Luckily, we have a good AA and are also working with a group called ZOE FOR LIFE, a group that is under the umbrella of the Orthodox Church of America but helps all birthmom in crisis, and Orthodox families go through the adoption process (usually internation adoption). They are helping match us with an Orthodox family which is our one REQUIREMENT. My daughter chose to give the child life, and now wants to give it a family and her faith. That's being the best Mom she can be under the circumstances. So if you're an Orthodox family (Greek, Russian, Antiochian, Ukrainian, etc) and already have your paperwork ready (we only have a month), by all means contact Zoe(they have a website) but otherwise, please don't inundate me with requests for information.

The reason for my posting is to ask prospective adoptive parents to please be sure in their minds what kind of arrangement they want BEFORE they start meeting bp. This is a frightening time for them and to have what they thought was a secure future snatched away is a complication they don't need. Your AA can speak to the bp's AA to make sure your ideas are in the same ballpark. Good luck to all of you!