[carolynppk]

Dear Alphagirl,

I am sorry that you feel like they don't "deserve" to share in your life in that way. I think there are things you are dealing with, top that with expecting, emotions are crazy.

For me, just myself, I feel like if I did that, I would be trying to punish her/them for doing something that was in my best interest. I can't pass any judgement on her for the choice she made, as I was not in her shoes. I don't know what one can handle and what is available to them. And just because one can keep their child, does not mean they should. I admire someone who knows their limitations.

I think there is more going on possibily in your adoption that brings these feelings. You stated that this was not an angry post, that you have had those though on other forums. ANd while having a child may make you thing there is nothing that would make you give up a child, what is available now, where you are in life, is very different than what she had at the time.

Congratualtions on the new baby and I hope you gain some peace on the situation.

Carolyn