[JJemail1]

ANNWILL,

I'm so sorry to hear this. Again, I can't even imagine what you're going through. We lost a foster baby, who we raised from newborn, out of the blue after 6 months when a judge OK'd him to go to a residential rehab facility with his mom who was fresh out of jail. Our loss also made us feel the way you're feeling (even though it was only 6 months worth of memories).

Forgive me in advance for putting this into a spiritual perspective but I just want to reassure you that God knows you personally--He knows your feelings, desires, hard ships and the like--and has a plan for you. He will see you through this.

After our last reunification we immediately closed our foster home (although kept our license up-to-date). We pursued straight adoption and then took in an emergency placement late one Friday night in May of this year. We were subsequently chosen by two birthmothers to adopt their respective babies but we passed on both opportunities because we couldn't handle more than one baby at a time and couldn't "give away" our foster baby. Anyway, it's looking like we may get to adopt her and all this to say that God indeed hears our prayers.

I don't mean to attempt to justify your loss at all--I feel so sad for your family. I just want to share our experience and let you know we're rooting for you.

Take care,
Jennifer