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Originally Posted by Scorpio66
My B-daughter lost her A-mom at 9. We met a few months before her 19th B-day and within 6 months time, she is now living with my family. She and her A-dad have a very strained relationship, and he is perfectly happy to go his own way and let me "fix" all the things about my daughter that he has "broken" over the past 10 years. He claims that he is drained and exhausted from dealing with her for all these years alone and admitted that he has no problem letting me take all the responsibilty for helping her to become a self-sufficient adult. I feel like he is dumping his problems on me, but she has really come around since being with my family, and I feel in my heart that if I don't help this child, no one else will. Anyone else out there with even a remotely similar situation? Some days I feel like I must be the only one.
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It Takes A Village to Raise a Child.
I tried to find more on this proverb.. Or very wise group of words.. but my search just went in circles..
Some say its an old African proverb and others say.. its not..
But (always the but) you are in a position to help your birthdaughter and you are not being given guilt over it..
She needs help.. that is the bottom line to me..
I gave my son up in the closed era.. I used to think (in my journey of learning how to give a child up for adoption) that if we were in a tribe I could give my son over to someone in the tribe or a couple and I could then watch him to make sure he was okay..
She is okay from your words (above) what could be better than that..
Extending myself for my kids is such a lesson for me.. my grown up kids..
They made it so easy for me to give my son up for adoption in the sixties.. so incredibly easy..
I know now it does not work that way..
Jackie