|
"it's not a smile but a lid on a scream".
I love that quote, it really says it all. I think I have spent a lot of my life living that quote.
Josh's mom,
Maybe it is better if you don't know if he got the message or not, that way, if he does not reply, you can tell yourself, he didn't get it. I know with my bdaughter, when I sent her an e-mail, she would seldom reply, and if the message didn't come back as undelivered, I would be sad for days. I think i would have been better off, if I had not known. If he responds, great, and I do hope for your sake that he does, but if he doesn't, please don't let it get to you too much. If I have learned anything through all this, it is that it never goes the way we want it to. It's a long drawn out waiting game. You did the right thing, you sent the birthday wish, you got to tell him happy birthday, that really is a lot. I know it may not seem like it, but I am sure there are still many of us out there who would love to be able to do just that. As far as the rest of your family goes, you are in a sticky situation, with everything so close to home and all. It must be awful for you sometimes. To know, and yet not know, my heart goes out to you. Just remember that they really can not understand the hurt and pain you feel, it is your hurt, and you have every right to feel it. It really is, all about you. Your son has had 18 years of life with a family, you have had the same amount of time without your son. I know how that is, and healing your heart is a much more important issue right now. Everything else can wait, just a little while longer. Let me know, if he replies, I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
Colleen
|