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Originally Posted by Vogi2002
Oh - another thing, if they refuse to show you the homestudy (like we would have) give them an option to go through it first and white out any answers that they don't wish to share then send a copy to you. You can ask them why they wouldn't share or choose not to go with them. That would have been great for me because I could go in there and white out like DOB's, questions like the sex life question, and my exact income (I would have probably instead put a "range" for you to see).
BTW - My homestudy even included questions about our sex life, so I really do mean it was PERSONAL.
GOOD LUCK!
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Yup - this is what I was thinking.
There's just a ton of stuff that we discussed with the SW during HS meetings that aren't really relevant to parenting and I in no way want to share with DD's b-mom (or lots of people!)
* The famous sex life questions (actually, she never verbally asked, but there were several questions on one of the forms asking about sexual compatibility. None of b-mom's business)
* Stuff about extended family: for example, my BIL's 1st marriage ended in divorce b/c wife#1 was a drug addict and so now he has sole custody of the kids. Now, really, why on earth would b-mom need to know that? I can't remember why the subject came up, but he's a great guy and it sure doesn't affect OUR parenting.
* Seriously private family history information (the specific, painful reasons that led to DH's parents divorce, discussion of a sibling that was abused by a former family friend,)
* Specific income. That is private. I will give you a range, debt-income ratio, heck, even our credit score!, but no specifics.
* The obvious Identifying information (incl dob, ss#).
Back to OP: if a family refused to let you see their home study, I would ask for their reasons why before writing them off totally.