My Private investiagtor had called me after I received my mom's info. We went over all the right and wrong things to say. She pretty much gave me a dialogue to use and all the scenarios that could happen; 1. she hangs-up 2. dead silence 3. she denies it 4. she is happy. For option 2, 3 and 4 the same things were to take place. I started the call w/ my PI's dialogue suggestion which goes something like this...,"Is this (my mom's name)? My name is Sarah and I am calling from (my state) in regards to a personal matter. Is this a good time to talk?" She thought I was a telemarketer and almost hung-up on me. I quickly said,"No, no. This is NOT a sales call. (MY mom's name) my names is Sarah I was born 7/20/71 in Elmira, Ny. Is this still a good time to talk?" That gives her a chance to say no if someone is sitting next to her that she doesn't want to talk w/ them there. W/ #1 above I would have called my PI back and we would have worked on the next step, but fortunately that didn't happen. So w/ 2, 3 and 4 after the inital dialogue, you just start talking and keep talking. There are 4 points that I wanted to say. 1. Reassure her that I am not calling to disrupt her life. That I consider this a personal matter just between her and me. 2. Let her know that I have always known I was adopted and that I have always had positive feelings towards her. 3. Ask if I could get medical history and family history not only for me, but for my children (lets her know she is a grandma) 4. Explain that I know she is probably shocked and wasn't prepared for this, but I though it best to call since I didn't know if a letter would be intercepted by someon who didn't know about me. I didn't want to make things difficult for her. This lets her know that you were thinking of her best interest. Then I made a list of al the questions that I ever wanted to know or would ever want to know. Ask questions as if this is the only time you will ever speak w/ this person.
I was very fortunate that my mom was thrilled to hear from me and was more than willing to answer all my questions. We talk/e-mail almost everyday and we can't wait till my trip to florida to meet so she is coming up in a couple of weeks
This is truly an amazing thing and I wish everyone the best of luck in their searches and reunions. By the way. The call WAS NOT easy to make. I was shaking so badly that I could barely speak and I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest, but I still feel it was the best way to contact her, at least for me!! God Bless.