[missingmyboy]

I wanted an open adoption that involved all family members, on their side and mine. They told me how their family really supported them adopting so silly me I assumed the family was okay with open. My son is three and a half and I have never met anyone in their extended family. I have only met his parents and his new siblings. I wouldn't just ask if their family supports openness as my son's parents say that they thought they would but found out otherwise after his birth. I really find it hard to believe that not a single person in their extended families want to meet myself and my older son. They also have not met my family members beyond my older son and my stepdad. They don't have any interest in meeting the others likely due to the horror stories I told them. However I think they can do no harm to have a short visit a few times a year with my extended family with them always present. Obviously this isn't something you ask for on the first visit but if you want an open adoption that is like extended family, I would ask to meet their family while pregnant and ask to have them meet yours while pregnant as well. Had I known better, I might have the kind of openness I was clear I desired.