[Indiaadoptee]

Dating...In high school, most of the guys in my traditional school had stereotypes about Indian girls. When it was obvious a guy was interested in me and didn't pursue it, I'd ask my guy friends to find out for me. And they'd come back and say the guys thought I was in an arraigned marriage or something. It was ridiculous, but funny at the same time. In college it was different, since I was a rare find among blonds and brunettes. The only irritating thing is, when I do date, my friends immediately want to know what skin color he is, since I'm not white like them, as if that's the only important part. My parents, like you, have raised me to treat everyone with respect regardless of skin color, so of course when people asked me those questions it just disgusted me.Could you clarify the question about being white/racism? I'm not sure what you meant. In aswer to your other question, I was adopted as an infant.
How should you handle something that might be painful and possibly horrifying? It depends on what it is. My advice, at each stage of his growing up, tell him his entire story. When he’s in the elementary/middle school age, I’d obviousely either keep the disturbing part vague or not tell him yet-it depends on the child. Of course, if you chose to tell him about it while he’s young, keep it vague. When he is around 13-15, I’d tell him exactly, down to the painful detail, what happened. That’s what my parents did. Before I was 14, they told me bits and pieces of it, but didn't reveal the really bad part. When I was 14 they laid it all out on the table for me, so to speak, and told me everything they knew about the awful, awful thing that was a part of my adoption. Whatever you do, do not wait till they are older than 15. Telling a 12 year old is a little risky, and waiting till they are old enough to drive will only make them angry for not telling them sooner.
What other topics, events, or milestones in a child’s life are you interested in learning about from an adoptee’s perspective?