we adopted 3 at the same time. it was actually 2 different families. we began fostering the 8 and 9 year old, and about 4 months later a baby was born that also needed to be fostered. All three became available for adoption and were finalized around the same time....about 1 1/2 years later. We were first time parents, only married a year when they first moved in. WE WERE CRAZY! But I would do it again in a heartbeat. Going from 0 to 3 was HARD. The older kids were tough....i like to say they had to be re-parented....partially bc they had not had an actual parent in over 5 years and being in the system meant they had no manners, no social skills, no hygeine skills, they couldn't even eat with a fork. Teaching them an entirely new routine and set of rules was tough. Had I not had a great support team of social workers, court advocates, and family, we would not have made it (and it is still not "perfect"
. The most important thing at the time was that we needed someone else telling the kids that healthy families had rules and expectations and consequences when they were not followed. They had lived so long in an instution they expected the "staff" in this house to change every 8 hours, and when it didn't...and so they were still in trouble, they didn't know what to do. There was also a LOT of, "now this is when you say goodbye." etc....they needed LOTS of clues and tips to help them learn to socialize with people. It was surreal at times....and doing it with 2 kids while also raising a difficult baby, was really tiring at times! Sometimes I think they would have been better off with seasoned parents, but other times I think they did well to have 2 naive people willing to be educated and learn quickly so that they actually had parents with more patience. I don't know. I like to try to justify things sometimes...it makes me feel better as a parent
lol!
You are not completely delusional...but everyone you know will think you are
. One thing that was nice was we had a completely empty house when we started, and so when we took the older 2, opposite gender, they got their own rooms, and so did the baby when he got there. the social worker said most people who do foster care or adoption in our area only had room for up to 2, but they had to be the same gender. So there is another plus for you. As my house fills up, I will never be able to adopt that many at once again....there is just no room
I think you will have fun....but be prepared to work....HARD. I worked outside the home for a little over 2 years after they first moved in...and I totally regret it. I think if I had been able to stay home sooner, the adjustment would have gone better, and my children would be healthier for it. IMHO, if you are needing to do any form of daycare, I would not suggest adopting so many at once, just because your time and influence will be so little, spread so thin, with so many at one time.....but I DO know parents who have done it, and it is ok. I think in the end, you will do what feels right for you, and fight for it to work. Just know you will need to take naps and get more pedicures