[crick]

Given that she was moved 5 times, I'm not surprised at all that she is not potty trained yet. Don't forget too, that there's only so many issues one can work on at the same time and in her last home, there might have been more pressing needs to address than potty training.

Being in yet another new home, it's normal to wet and also normal to hide. It's a natural response for some kids to regress or not learn because of trauma of course, but just overall new situations, like a new home and new parents. It can also be a method of control, if she has any attachment issues. Do you have any inkling as to what her motivations might be? (control or fear etc.)

My dd was also 4 when she came and she had potty issues. She was trained but regressed and did not like to poo in the potty. Would go outside to poop in her pants, go in the closet, under the bed etc. And as much as you or I might think it's just disgusting to sit in it, they are used to it. If she is anything like my dd was, she likely didn't have her diaper changed much in the birth home or have the ability to go when needed when reaching the potty training age.

Don't let it stress you out...and try not to take it personally. Work on the potty training, and I would suggest not talking about it for awhile. When she needs to change, just say "oh, looks like you had an accident, here's some dry pants, go clean up." and leave it at that. This helps take the level of fear and being upset down for her. (although if she's only upset at being found out, then it might be the control issue for her) Try making her goals shorter...if she's truly not trained at all, I think being dry all day to get a reward is too long and too big of a goal to reach for her. Try making the goal "if you can stay dry til lunch time" or some other shorter duration and by time frames she can understand at her age.