[cottonwood9]

Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh

A) Adoption is not an irresponsible act and I take offense to it being referred to as such.

I didn't mean to offend anyone. It's just that I already feel totally irresponcible for getting pregnant in the first place. I don't want adoption to be the easy way out because I'm too embarrased to admit to my family I was involved with a guy I barely knew. Or to relinquish them to someone without really researching things fully. I don't want them to come find me when they're 18 and say they had a horrible life because of me.

B) I agree that staying away from an agency until you've fully researched the topic would benefit you and your children the most. They know how to draw mothers in and keep them there. Most will not provide you with ample information about parenting. That's all up to you. So you need to do the research now. What state do you live in? Open adoption is not legally enforceable in all states which means that the adoptive family can close the adoption without warning or reason. You need to know these things and, again, most agencies aren't forthcoming with this kind of information.

Thanks for the info. I'd like to do open adoption, it'd be terrible if the adoptive family just lied and closed the adoption. I'm in California now, but I don't think that's where I'll be when they're are born.

C) If financial aspects are your main reason for placement, you need to look into state funded assistance that IS available for you to use to get back on your feet.

Financial's part of it. I want a career and a life, and I don't know where taking care of twins would fit into that. I'm not the type of person who would ever consider state assistance.

D) Single mothers raise boys by themselves everyday. My Son has an everyday dad but the bond that we have as mother and son is absolutely AMAZING. The same for my Husband and his mom. Moms and sons rock.

Wouldn't sons want to know about their father? I just don' t know how I'd ever explain to them that their father was someone I didn't know well enough to get a real phone number. How would they ever have any respect for me once they were old enough to understand? I just keep imaging they'd grow up have a whole in their hearts wishing for a father in their life. For some reason, I thought a daughter would understand. I'm not sure a son would.