[cottonwood9]

I've got a question about the best way to approach an adoption agency when considering giving up a child (or children) for adoption. I'm 17 weeks pregnant with twins. I thought I could raise one child on my own, but not twins. Yesterday I found out they were boys, and now I'm really doubting my ability to raise them without a father. I'm 24. I've got a good job, but I travel all the time. The father is a guy I met on a business trip. It was stupid, I didn't know him that well. I know he's the father but I don't have any way of contacting him.

Adoption's been in the back of my mind ever since I found out i was pregnant. My Dad's adopted, and my grandparents are the greatest, I'd like to find those kind of parents to raise my sons, but finding the right agency and adoptive parents is freaking me out. I've spent hours going through the adoptive parent profile websites. Every profile makes couples seem like the perfect parents, but anyone can sound good on paper. How do you trust an agency enough to know they've really screened people? Can you really trust the information listed there or are they just saying what they think birthmothers would want to hear?

Being pregnant is making me serious. I know can't be irresponsible again. I don't think I can provide a good enough life for them as a single mother, money's my biggest concern. What's really bugging me is that when I read stuff online about adoption, there's always so much about adoption financing and tax credits for adoption, it seems like adoptive parents really can't afford the process. How do you know if adoptive parents could really afford raising twins? Would an agency really be honest about something like that? I don't want to give them up to a family who's struggling more than I am.

Adoption seemed much easier until I looked into it. Now I'm worried and the process seems so complicated. I don't want to waste an agency's time until I'm 100% committed. I've gotta figure out what the perfect family would be and which agency would be right. I really worry an agency might pressure me into picking a family I don't like. I almost wonder if maybe I need a lawyer looking out for me in the process, or would that be weird?

Sorry if this is rambling. I've been up all night thinking about this. I want adoption to be the solution, but I also don't want to do this just because it's easier than being responsible.