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Old 02-09-2003, 04:32 PM
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lucyjoy lucyjoy is offline
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I'm not sure how old this child is or if she is the older of the two sibs. She may be use to being in charge and taking care of her brother and her need to control everything and everyone may be causing some of the problem(Survival, lose control=dying).

I have a couple of suggestions that may help. One is to use Time in instead of time out. "I see you're having trouble remembering how to behave. That's o'kay, I'll help you. Yuu just hold onto my shirt(or sit next to me while I'm doing whatever). NO problem, that way I can make your decisions for you."

My other suggestion is that children with fear based control issues need a strong mom, not a friend. You have to be very firm about what the rules are and enforce them everytime, even if she's been great the whole rest of the day. This is important because she needs to test you to see if you are "smart enough" to take care of her(otherwise she has to be in charege or she'll die).

This are my opinions based only on my own experience and my experience working with other families.
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