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I do not think you can control what your ex husband is doing.. I think he is wrong.. as wrong as it gets.. tho.
But when we try and control someone else or heck the outcome of a reunion we are in trouble..
Maybe make sure your bson knows you do not like what has happened..
But you can not take it back..
Check out this from Melody Beattie about control..
From Melody Beattie.. from Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps..
Page 22..
...."I hate that I can't control... I hate being vulnerable and
helpless. I don't like feeling uncomfortable or being in emotional
pain. I get sick having to detach and surrender. But the love affair
with this step comes in when I admit the truth.. I am powerless over
much in my life, and when I try to have power where I have none, I get
crazy. I can't control others, no matter how much I want to, no
matter how much better I think I know what's right for them.
I can't control what others do, think, or feel, whether or how they
choose to interact with me, whether or when they choose to grow and
change, and whether or when they choose to recover from their
addictions.
Sometimes I can't control myself.
I'm powerless over the backlog of feelings and negative beliefs I've
accumulated. I'm powerless over my own and others people's addictions,
including addictions to alcohol and misery.. I can't control my
children or other people's children.. I'm powerless over results,
life, circumstances, events. I can't control the course of
relationships.. I can't control timing..
God, I wish I could control timing..
But I can't..
..............further down the page..
When I try to control people, I make them and myself crazy. When I try
to control addictions, the addictions control me. When I try to
control what others think of me, I turn into a puppet on strings.
Controlling makes me and others crazy. It puts me under the control
of whatever I'm trying to influence. I lose myself. I lose touch with
myself.
And other people get angry with me and tend to back off..
When I try to control situations and circumstances, I set up blocks
to events moving forward.. When I spend time and energy trying to have
power when I have none, I lose my ability to live my own life..
Every time I get into a situation similar to yours I go back and read this..
Jackie
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