[SchmennaLeigh]

Gah.

I hate it.

I was at a Grandma Shower (best and cutest little idea EVER) this afternoon and was being asked questions about this pregnancy. Only one woman there, a friend of mine, knew about the Munchkin as I'm not close with some of these women. It was then assumed that this pregnancy is my second and blahblablah. It wasn't my party nor was I related to any guest of honor and I didn't want to make it an All-About-Jenna's-Adoption-Story moment. I just smiled and nodded.

I hate the way that I feel.

I seriously feel sick.

I hate doing or saying anything that basically voids my daughter's existence. I feel sleezy and fake. I feel like a bad mother. I feel like I have dishonored my daughter. AUGH.

I'm not very happy with myself today even though I know, logically, that I was within my rights to slip into private mode. Blah. My tummy really feels awful.