[ANNWILL]

I haven't written in a long time but here is my story-while I'm writing it, I just want to cry-I'm so tired of crying but that's all I do. We got a beautiful 3 mo. old girl in 2003 (she was abused). Mom and dad were not married-to make things short-mom spent 101 days in jail for child endangerment and plus she couldn't post bail-dad got 1 day. She also had 2 other older children whom the grandmother took-3 was too much for her. After she got out, she had visits but during them she paid more attention to her other two. While we were waiting for the magistrates decision for tpr which he took 360 days, mom got pregnant again but by someone else. Time came and the magistrate decided to give CSB tpr. Next was the judges decision-the magistrate knew he did wrong so he gave mom extra vists hoping they would bond-WRONG! But mom says yes-all they were were play dates for her. Well the judge granted tpr-HOORAY but of course she appealed. Next the appeals court got it and reversed the decision because they believed her rights were violated-just because she had numerous laywers-hey she had a brain and a mouth so why should this child be penalized for it? So now it went back to the judge-mom says she wanted visits and she kept calling-LIE-and now the judge wants her to go back to her mom-She's having visits again and was told that she was her mom-so she calls her mommy-well of course she was told that so that's what she does. Now shes telling her shes going to live with her-this little girl doesnt understand-she believes that shes coming home-that's why she doesnt get upset at the visits. Now this weekend she's going to start having overnight visits-I feel CSB is giving up on this little girl-we've told them how shes withdrawn, clingy and misses her mommy (me) but they wont do anything but give her back-I can't go on without her-I can't have children and she filled that hole in my heart so much and now it's broken again