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1-2-3 magic
I am a behavior specialist for 4 schools. For children 2-12, I recommend looking at 1-2-3 Magic. It really works.
I really think though the most important thing is consistency.
By the way, I have 2 21 month old children, and we still have very bad moments. It happens to everyone. There is no answer, especially in the grocery store with everyone watching.
You don't have to be a perfect parent, you just have to be good enough.
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