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You hit it on the had Jackie. That was my point. See, with my story, I knew ALL the details and found some more while searching. Of course, and I know it was sneaky, but I have trust issues. I never told bmom, at least not at the beginning, what I did or didn't know. I wanted to see if she'd tell me the truth or beat around the bush or flat out lie. To be honest, had MY bmom told me from the beginning when I had asked the honest truth, our reunion would have gone quite different. Because then I would have known that she "owned" it. However, the truth of the matter is, she doesn't own it and blames everyone around her. Again, very different situation then yours, rose. Consider whether or not she already knows. Then the question would be, if she already knows they why all this? Because then maybe she is looking for validation from you. Adoptees get lost between fact and fiction. I suppose it's hard to figure that some reasons just are and it's simple. I knew my bmom was a drug addict, but I dreamt that my being removed would shape her up. Make her a better person and if it did then this all wasn't in vain. It didn't shape her up, she still uses drugs. (At last contact) And went on to have 2 more boys with a drugged out new husband. I would imagine that finding out that you were the result of a rape would be heartbreaking to anyone. Idealy a baby is conceived out of love between two people. It may sting when this is told to her, but I believe that in time she will move past it and realize that you, Rose, still had her best interest at heart despite the negativity of the situation. I also believe that you loved her and still love her like any mother would do, reassure her of this. Let her know that despite what happened, she is your bdaughter and you still love her.
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