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Diva,
I don't want to sound stupid, I could give you a definition of boundaries, but for her what would that mean?
I can tell the step kids, my car is off limits to you, or that cake is for dad's lunch. Okay that is boundaries to me.
I've never told her when she can call or write. Should I say if you are going to be upset, don't call/email?
I'm sincerely confused. I'm striving for some answers, ways to do this as best as I can. Like I stated I try to remain calm when she is blasting me. I have even broke into her sentence and said I really have to get off the phone.. then her calm voice will reply okay... like she was in the middle acting a part in a play.
I remember her yelling at me one time, and I never asked her about it, but she made the comment that I should have never had it so good. She ranted about finding a man and settling down.( I think she was talking about me)
I'm reading too much into this, but is she mad because I'm not a drugged out street urchin?
At one time she told me she couldn't save me. I thought that was funny/strange at the time because it took me off guard. Why would I need saving and why from her. Does this make sense to anyone? Is this role reversal, jealousy of my life, playing with my head, or she is confused. My head just spins when trying to sort all this out.
I think honestly would be the best. I most likely made a bad judgement call when it came to the facts of her conception.I took the advice of well meaning family and friends who said no, dont tell, it will only hurt her. I'm so afraid if I told her now, she would think everything else would be a lie. I've been honest with her in everything else. I can almost hear her crying now if I told her. I dont think I could take the sobbing. God help me if she started yelling and screaming something at me. Yes I should have been honest but how do I get myself out of a mess I put myself into 8 months ago.
I may search posts for adoptees who were born from rape and just see how they feel, not ask, just do the research and read, just read.
I've thought about asking her Amom, but thats an area you can tell she dont like to go. I like her Amom but she reminds me of a June Cleaver, or Aunt Bee. Piddles and works around the house, takes care of the neighbors who are sick, waits on DH hand and foot. She's a really nice lady. Maybe she avoids confrontation and thats where daughter is exploding. She was never given the chance to vent. I'm grasping at straws now but so trying to understand.
I'm going to do some reading and make my way around the message boards.
You ladies are great. So kind to come to the aid of a stranger. Thanks for letting me vent and ramble on.
Rose
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