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Old 02-07-2003, 08:55 AM
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debsdone debsdone is offline
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Crystal/vanice

Crystal, unfortunately, your b-mother was sick then, and she is still sick now. You have no obligation in this, you learned what you learned and hopefully feel some peace within your circumstances.
Vanice, your story is a good one. But please tread carefully when imposing your personal situation onto other situations, as they are not all the same. Had Crystal gone looking for this woman, knowing what she knew, to "Love and forgive" her, without first finding out if any growth had taken place, well, she would have been in a very bad place. As for "bad" reasons for searching, the truth is never "bad". If we need to know, we need to know. If we intend to set a bomb, that is "bad". But, in our hearts, we want to believe that maybe what we believed wasn't true. Or was true. Maybe people have changed. there is no way to know without trying. Had Crystal's Mom truly changed, her behavior would have been different, and so too would the reunion have been different. The last thing she really needed to hear was that she was "wrong" for searching. Don't you think she has suffered enough? You are lucky to have found a good person at the end of your search. It does not always turn out that way.......Love, Debi
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