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Dickons, you are so right! My bson contacted me in May 2006 and I was so happy. After 27 years of worry and longing I knew he was healthy, happy and not angry. I married his bdad and we have 2 daughters and I had promised not to say anything to them until they were 18 - one is now 18 and the other 17. I told them both late last year as I always believed they had the right to know and search. I had searched when he was about 4 just because I wanted to make sure he was safe and I narrowed it down to 3 families - one of which was his! I had no intention of making any contact, I gave up that right. I've been very lucky in that we are working our way through reunion and I respect his privacy. The only hitch is my husband's family. He will not meet him or discuss him while his parents are alive. It has caused much emotional turmoil in our lives and we've decided that I will do what I feel is right and if our daughters want a relationship it is up to them. I do think he will come around once he comes to terms with everything. My position is clear, I want a relationship, I am not hiding anything any more and I believe that, as you said, society is more accepting and the secrets are what paralyze us. My biggest regret is not sharing with my daughters earlier as they are struggling a little with the whole idea of a "big brother". Delighted, but, as my youngest says, a bit weird! My pain and emotions in reunion are mine. We've had a lot of talks and they know that they shouldn't be concerned with anyone else but themselves and are both anxious to build a relationship with their brother. They have each other's contact information so I don't have to be involved in less they want me to, I think that I've taken the right approach but who knows?!
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