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Jennifer,
I think that putting your little girl up for adoption, and especially to such a loving family, was absolutely the best thing to do. I really wish more mothers would see the circumstances around them and choose similar paths instead of raising a child surrounded by unstable, abusive people. I speak from experience... my best friend was adopted and it turned out for the best, her bfamily was FREAKING PSYCHO!!! Plus, it was a big part of the reason my mom chose adoption for my brother. Not only was she young and just not ready, but she was still living with our nuckin' futs family.
I felt for you as I read your post, and my heart goes out to you dealing with a crazy family. 90% of my family should be institutionalized. And the fact that you've made a vow to yourself to work on making your life better day by day so you can be the kind of bmom your little girl can love and appreciate and respect blows me away. It's awesome. You're awesome.
I put myself in your shoes for a moment and though what I would do (though I'm sure you've already done it) and that's explaining to the aparents why it is SO important to you that they're raising her with love and stability and keeping you part of the loop. I dunno, I'm sure you've already expressed gratitude, if for nothing more than the lovely pics and letters, which you are blessed for :-) My mom got one picture of my brother, on Santa's lap his first Christmas, but she holds onto it as her one connection with her son.
I just want to hug you, seriously. You are so with it and together, and you completely made the right choice which, I will blatantly disagree with your family when I say, was YOUR CHOICE. Yours alone, not theirs. Not when they can't be trusted to make the choice whether to pop that pill or not. (Generalizing, sorry, but you know what I mean)
My wish for you is that you can seaparate yourself from the situation and distance yourself from your family, and you continue to better yourelf for your and your daughter's sakes, and that when she's old enough, she can meet you in person and thank you for giving her life and placing her in such a loving home :-)
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