Patty-cake, I think sending a letter inside a Mother's Day card to your daughter's a.mom was a wonderful, heart-felt thing to do! I'm sorry she didn't respond, but I'm positive that it meant a lot to her. In reunion, there are so many complex feelings and emotions for everyone involved.
As time goes by, hopefully she will feel less threatened by you having a relationship with your daughter. Or perhaps not... Either way, you will know that SHE knows how thankful you are that the adoption agency selected her to be your daughter's mom.
As far as your daughter pulling back from you communication-wise, it's really quite normal. I reunited with my son in 1990, when he turned 18. We went thru a "honeymoon" period for about a year, where everything was fine and dandy. And then he pulled away from me for a couple years, with only occasional contact. I think that it's just a normal stage of reunion. Just let your daughter know how much you love her, and be sure to let her know that your door is always open.
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 ~~Raven~~
What does not kill me, makes me stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, 1888, German Philosopher (1844-1900)
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