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Originally Posted by belovedone
Well I used this forum as a launching pad to talk to my mom about how I feel. I thought if she read some of the replies and some of the stories on this site she might gain insight into why this discovery has thrown me for such a loop. I don't think she understands still but she did tell me that if I want to try to find my birth parents she will understand, not be angry, and help me. She also told me that if I needed to go to counseling over the matter she would pay for it and even go with me if that was what I wanted...I am soo lucky to have her. I don't think I'm going to need counseling thank goodness but still...
I guess I just wanted to share that little tidbit in case anyone else was having trouble talking to their adopted parents about their feelings after finding out late in life. Maybe showing them this site can help you explain too. I know that the last thing I wanted to do was hurt mom after she has given me so much and raised me well my whole life. Thanks again for all of your replies as I am sure they helped my mom to get a clue about how this has affected others too.
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YOU do have a great mom. See has thought about it, and she told that she was ok with your searching.
If you do, don't though away the gift she has given you, don't wait until she is dead. She needs to know that by searching and possibly finding, that is showing her you forgive her for keeping it a secret.
I mean by this, she could have said, go search but don't tell me, I don't want to know. But she didn't. She said she would help.
To say this, may have been hard. But if she didn't mean it, she wouldn't have said it.
Hugs