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I was also in a situation where only my immediate family knew of the adoption, but I've been extremely lucky in that I am now in reunion with my son and my girls were only 4 and 2 when this started (my son is 22). Anyway, they know they have a brother and I'm glad that they will grow up knowing about him.

I guess from what I've read here, the sooner you tell your kids the better. Some people get extremely upset about having the secret of an older sibling kept from them. But that's just the impression I've gotten! Hopefully others will be able to give you good advice.

In my case, as soon as I made contact I started talking about him, showing them pictures he'd sent and then I talked a lot more about it when we had a face to face. Now my older daughter draws him pictures. They are too young to answer questions, but of course I will answer whatever they want to know!I just tried to make it as normal as possible. 'We're going to visit your nana and grandpa, mamma's friend G and your brother A.'

Good luck and take care!