[bzymomof4]

I saw the heading to this board "a social wkr & therapist pt of view" - boy is that what I'm looking for! Iam so ashamed of what I am going to say I can barely write it. It took me 2 1/2 months just to utter it to my dh, and I found out he'd been wanting to talk to me about the same thing.
What if things just get too crazy & you can't hack it? I am fighting just to get out of bed every morning. I am in tears every day and each night I just pray this will all go away. My husband is about to lose his job, We try to tell our SW things are really too stressful, but she just passes it off as just normal. We have 2 adopted kids age almost 4 & a 3 mo (not final till end of mar) from one sibling group (private adoption). and two foster to adopt ages 3 yrs and an 18 mo old from another sib group. 3 are moderately to severly drug affected, our youngest tested + at birth but birthmom was incarcerated for bulk of pregnancy, & she is not exibiting any challenges.
The foster kids were supposed to be legally free a yr ago when they came to live w/ us. But we were told 3 mo ago that they will get another YEAR! I am so tired. I am exhausted. I missed a dr's appt - I don't even remember making this appt, (kids are all utd on their wel baby shots etc) but I got a call from our SW wondering why & informing me that dr's office retained old fm's info as well as mine. There is so much "checking up", "re -certifications", OT and ST appts, assessments, specialists, driving to & from special ed preschools, paperwk, in service training, home visits every month! I can't handle it! I am just so nervous all the time. It takes all I have just to feed, bath, dress, and get them to the places I am required to take them.
I know they need so much more than I am providing - our eldest is slipping back into old behavior patterns and my dh is never home any more as he is just trying to keep his head above water at his job.
My mom now has cancer and is unable to help - we used respite 1 time (during my mom's surgery) and it drove the kids crazy! It was a month before they calmed back down - & they were only there for 1 day! I can't do this. It's not good for them & I know this is killing us. I hate myself right now, but things can't stay this way. I'm not sleeping well anymore, I m feeling isolated. None of my friends can relate - and I feel like my SW just wants to put a patch on it & say it'll get better. But I know it wont! HELP!