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Scarlet,
Thank you for all the info, what I am so very afraid of is that my daughter will not want any type of communication with me. I know that many bparents are afraid of that, but I will be devastated if that were the case. If that should happen and my children know about her, and know that she has rejected me, they will be livid. They know that Im not perfect, but they believe that Im a darn good mother.
I am always emotional, I have cried every day since I found out that I was pregnant with first born daughter, cried thru the whole pregnancy, and basically cry everyday when I think about her. My children, friends and family though, never see me cry. I never discuss my first born with anyone, never ever. Im not ashamed of her, I just dont discuss her.
My first born daughter will be 32 in 3 weeks (10/10/75), my next child is a son aged 21 1/2 and another daughter 20. My younger daughter has always wanted a sister, so I think that she will have no problem accepting first born daughter, my son will only make a comment that he is truly surrounded by females.
My parents both passed away within the past 7 years, so finding her is really becoming a priority. My parents never discussed my first born until my mother knew that she was dying and apologized for forcing the adoption. She did say that maybe I would have been happy if I had kept her.
Ive always wondered if a study has ever been done on birthmothers and all the emotional problems that they have encountered after adoption. Do you know of any?
Thank you.
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