Quote:
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"Living a lie is an awfully hard thing to confess"
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And how some of us were sent into the lie.. needs to be considered..
Shame guilt.. secrets.. and never ever sorting a thing.. no grief.. no crying.. no discussing any of it..
There are many ways to grieve the loss of a child.. Talking about it is one of the key ways to do it.. IMO
Some of us could not talk about it.. were not allowed.
Asking for emotional help was another.. like a hug or a good cry with someone.. some of us were not allowed that as well.
For some of us our grief was shame based.. so we just buried it..
And bringing it back to the surface takes a brave soul and also a place where unaccounted emotions can come to the surface and be expressed and dealt with..
I was lucky when I came out of the secret keeping..(when my bson was 21)
I had a husband that was willing to put up with my anger etc..
And I was in a place where I felt safe..
I told my husband when I married him.. But if I had not told him I know I would have had to tell the man that our relationship was full of lies..
If there is any blame to be handed out.. I say the society needs to take a very big chunk of it..
Keeping up with the Jones’s.. and what will the neighbors think.. have a big big part in this..
Jackie