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rainmon, as I've been reading your posts, you've really struck a cord with me. It's made me see that some of my actions/words may have caused anger from my bparent. I'm sure deep down I was really seeing if they would "leave" again, feeling unsure of my "place", wondering if I were just an "obligation". I decided it was safer to cut ties...since my other bparent had hurt me so much. Combine those feelings a few months after giving birth and you can imagine how emotional and angry my letter was....
That was a few years ago, and I still feel that we haven't really moved past it. I was the one that eventually said sorry for my letter (even after I was told it was shared). The relationship I have with both siblings,especially my sister changed dramatically afterwards.
Sometimes I just want to apologize for my exisitence and say...sorry to have upset everyone. I was confused ...still am some days, is that understandable? forgivable??
I haven't closed the door on any of my bfamily, but I'm not going to intrude any longer.
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"You can never really understand where you're going unless you know where you came from."
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