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Arruniel, I must say that I admire you for "sticking it out" and doing what is best for your daughter, even at personal sacrifice. I can't comment on open adoption as I am from the "closed era" and at times I wish that weren't the case but sstuart makes a good point - being there would tear my heart out as well. I have had no support and this website is the first time I have spoken to anyone in 27 years as it was too painful. I kept my emotions to myself. Thank God, I stumbled onto adoption.com after receiving a note from my bson through the agency (I left a note saying that I wanted to meet him if he ever chose to do so and updated my address, etc. whenver I moved) that he wanted to meet me and I was terrified. I suppose the only thing that can be said that open and closed adoptions are painful, period. Something should be done to make the whole process easier but I, like so many others, recognize that but have no solutions. All the best.
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