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Originally Posted by KC_photogirl
I am very confused as to what I should do. I was raised a witness but have drifted for about 8 years now. I want to go back badly but have found myself pregnant now. My family is not speaking with me. The father doesn't want anything to do with it and I find myself very alone. I am just so confused
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A few unsolicited thoughts here - I am not a member of your faith, but do have respect for your situation. You have time. Make sure this is what is right for you. Consider all of your options, and all of your support systems. Maybe begin speaking to your family, if they are open to it. You are still their child, and hopefully they can be open to supporting you through this. Once you place your child for adoption (if you do), you cannot go back. It is forever. So before you do what will probably be a very painful and extremely difficult thing, make sure it is what is best for you and your child.
That said, I am an adoptive parent, and I feel that adoption is a beautiful thing, when it is right for you. I receive strength and comfort, and even confidence in my role as a mother due to the fact that I know that the birthmothers of my children were at peace with their decisions, and do not regret their choice. They prayed, pondered, listened, and made the choice that would bring them peace. Untold pain, yes, but also peace.
Jannyroo had some good thoughts for you to consider. Take care of yourself, take time to figure things out, and make a decision out of love and confidence, not confusion and fear. A counselor is a great idea. If you are interested in returning to the faith you were raised in, which it sounded like you were, then a counselor within your faith might be a good idea. They will know better the spiritual struggles and other issues and questions unique to your situation.
Most of all, remember that God loves you fiercely. He wants what is best for you and your child. What's that chapter - in Isaiah, Chapter 9 I think - Where the Israelites are, well, basically idiots. Insert us -we can ignore him, disobey him, whatever, "For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still." We just need to take it. If we do the best we can - even if we have made mistakes in the past, he will support us. He loves you.
There will be many people willing to give you their opinion on what you "should" do, and how it "will" affect your and your child's life. The truth is, there is no way to know for sure what the future holds, either way, for either of you. There is a wide variety of experiences. The one for sure, though, is that there will be pain and heartache - either way, (and grief and loss if you place). But, if you take the time to figure out what is right for you, you won't have that regret. Difficulty, sure, but not the bitter regret. You may choose to parent your child, and some people will think you've made the wrong choice. You may choose adoption for your child, and other people will think you've made the wrong choice. The only way to find peace through the years to come is to take the time to feel and discover what your heart and God are telling you about what is right for you and this baby. Either choice is courageous, either choice is love, you just have to find your own path.
My heart goes out to you. Good luck.