Rainmon, you wrote:
Quote:
So if she is just trying to hurt us....
then it is a very dangerous game she plays.... as she may end losing the very thing she wanted .....altogether.
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Often that's exactly what happens when we live in fear... we lose what we have but are afraid we'll lose.
As a pastor of small congregations, I have learned well the pattern of unintentioned consequences: small congregations have a history or short pastorates, so after a pastor has been there for 2 or three years, they start to "shut down" emotionally because it's time for this pastor to go. The pastor experience the shut down (actually shut out) and decides that his/her ministry there is over and leaves. Thus the thing the congregation feared, happens.
I think it happens in relationships as well, especially in relationships as rife with the insecurities and fears adoption can bring. As always in human relationships, open communication can help lay the fears to rest.
I hope your bdaughter is getting some counseling (not only reading books). I sometimes think there should be a course for adoptees and birthparents like the one I use for pre-marital counseling that helps every one get a reality check and work on communication!