[angelkisses0102]

We parented and healed an AD/RAD infant...our DS was 8 months at adoption...he is now 4 years 1 month old and it is just in the last 11 months that he has only shown healthy attachment. The first year was a living nightmare...the next year was full of ups, downs, and very, very low downs.

His healing required tremendous sacrafices...including me being forced to quit my job. His healing changed every aspect of our lives...our finaces took a severe hit (there were other factors but the cost to heal DS was the biggest factor) ...to the point that we are legally financially insolvent, our home is in forclosure and my marriage is teetering on the brink of divorce. The hardest, however is the impact healing my son had on my daughter...I struggle with guilt from this daily.

Healing, if even possible, and parenting a RAD child is not easy and if you do not feel your situation will allow it...well I agree with Lorraine...do not finalize. As she states, it will just get worse as the child ages.

All that being said...for us...adopting our son was not a mistake...it is not something we regret and we feel blessed having him in our family...everything else in our lives will work out or it won't. And when I get a 'big hug' and a kiss from my little guy...well I know it was all worth it. (Although if you asked me while I was living it...well the answer may have been different.)

All the best to you...and that little girl.