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Originally Posted by KC_photogirl
I am a possible birthmother (baby due in May 2008) and I was raised a Witness. I am looking for a way to find witness families that want to adopt. I am so irritated that the adoption agencies don't allow witness to adopt. I would never let anyone else adopt my child. Does anyone here have an idea where I can go to search for a family or trying to adopt themselves?
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You haven't said much about yourself or your situation, but if you have been raised by witnesses, whats happened that you would want to give your baby to another witness? is the parental help not there? or have you distanced yourself from them for whatever reason? Do they want you to let go of your child their grandchild? Will they help or is it that you don't want their help? Or is it they are not supporting you in this? I would be surprised with my experience of witnesses if this were true (I have been one for 23 years now) and also very sad, but please talk if you feel you can?
I wish I'd had the help that I know that witnesses give when I had my son. Closed adoption was my lot way back then and I wasn't a witness. I had studied a little bit, but I was very confused and pregnancy was something that completely bowled me over. I found myself not wanting to be pregnant but neither wanting an abortion, what the heck was I going to do? In hindsight, if I'd have stuck with the witnesses (I drifted for another 7 years before returning to studying and then going onto baptism) I would have been helped much more than my family who weren't witnesses - they didn't help whatsoever. I was totally alone.
Are you considering open adoption? Have you been able to talk this through with anyone? the long term effects on you, the effects on your baby? Adoption is not the happy ever ending route that most social workers envisaged 30 years ago, it brings up complex issues for both you as a birth mother and your child growing up without you.
Have you completely given up the faith that your parents raised with you and is that what is standing in the way of the decision you are trying to make? How old are you now? I only say this because if you change your mind and pursue being a witness in the future, how would you feel seeing your child at conventions with the witnesses you want to raise your child? I'm trying to get you to express yourself so that you don't make a decision that you (along with many birth mothers) can regret - giving a child to others is something that affects us for the rest of our lives. Even if they are witnesses, they are still strangers to your baby and definitely genetic strangers.
Have you read 'The Primal Wound' and 'Coming Home To Self' by Nancy Newton Verrier as to how adoption affects children as they grow up trying to come to terms with adoption, growing up without you? How it affects you?
How much counselling, help have you had? I only say this because I detect a hint of uncertainty as to the direction you say you want to go in - "possible birth mother".
With regard to adoption agencies, there should be no religious discrimination. I think a few posts on this thread mention how they have adopted and there is an email address too which you may have already tried.
I hope whatever decision you make turns out to be the right one for you. Dont rush into it and don't be swayed by others opinions. Just because you don't want to pursue your parents faith and that may leave you feeling vulnerable and wanting to satisfy other's ideas of what you should do rather than what is right for you. PM me if you want to.