Thanks for your input, jd. You sound sort of like my dad, who is also adopted. My mom is his 4th wife. I think he's settled down now (no one else would have him, anyway! lol), but it took him a long time to find the woman who understood him and, more importantly, the woman he could trust. He threatened divorce several times, but I see that now as his way of saying "I'll be ****ed if you're going to walk out on me first!"
I hope you find your own way to deal with the issues you talked about, especially since you "act out" in a way that must have really hurt your ex-wives. I can certainly understand your having those issues, though, what with not being told something you had every right to know (and probably already knew deep down, right?). It must have thrown you into an absolutel tail-spin.
I've got to cut this short as I'm posting at work and my day is over, but welcome to the forum. I think you'll find a great deal of support here so you can realize just how normal you and your reactions are.
Gina